It’s true. In the search for truth, I’m perfectly willing and able to risk my geek street cred with the following blasphemous statement:
I hate my android and I want my iPhone back.
Yes, I made a mistake. Yes, 6 months ago my iPhone broke, AT&T wasn’t willing to cut a long term customer a deal on a replacement phone, and I fled in anger for Verizon and an android phone.
I lived the life of a totally contented newlywed: the android and I flirted (in the store), I made my initial overture (how much does this thing cost?), and I finally committed (for 2 years and $100 a month). The honeymoon was brief. I told everyone “We’re so happy together! He (she?) makes me so happy! We check mail, surf the internet, and make stupid comments on Facebook together!”
Everyone believed me. Everyone liked me. Everyone wanted to be me. (perhaps I’m getting a little carried away)
“You really went for it didn’t you Muehleman”
I did indeed. I did indeed.
…
Then the honeymoon ended.
My new phone was slow. Clunky. I didn’t like the email interface as much as the one on iPhone (how is THAT possible given that gmail is by google and the f’ing operating system is by google?). All of the apps were at least a generation behind their Apple counterparts. Pandora crashed. The weather widget was always the last city I was in. I left weird messages on the wrong people’s wall in Facebook (sorry hot girl i had a crush on in high school — [maybe I shouldn't blame this on the phone?]). I could’ve dealt with any of this save for the following three transgressions:
1) The keyboard positively sucks. If you’ve ever typed on an iPhone and gotten used to it, you know the folks at Apple have figured out which extraneous keys to include and which ones to ditch. The space bar is big and easy to hit on the iPhone. It’s tiny and. always. getting. in the. way on the Android. Who uses a freakin comma when they’re typing on their phone? Or need the period button when you can doubletap the keyboard. I’ve had the phone for 6 months and still cannot type on it. And it enrages me everytime I try.
2) The battery life is totally unacceptable. I realize this last part could be due to the phone. But I point the finger at the data synch for always sucking the life out of my phone in mere HOURS. It’s so bad that i had to turn it off. Now I have to manually check for new messages. What is this? 2003?!? We live in the future people. I need my messages now!
3) I love the iPod in my iPhone. That is, I listen to a lot of music and need a great music player. I’ve now tried 4 different music programs on the android and they all piss me off. Some organize music well but the quality is lacking, some create cool playlists but can’t organized worth a damn, and others do none of the above. Playing music on the iPhone was always elegant and easy to manage.
So, here we are. June 23rd. Tomorrow a hotter, sleeker, sexier iPhone comes out. And I’m perfectly willing to accept that this marriage has been a disaster. A foolish, poorly thought through, and expensive divorce.
p.s. one positive thing to come out of this is that I know buy all of my music from Amazon MP3 (please check out their Twitter feed too. You won’t be disappointed) and have officially said screw you to iTunes for buying music.
p.p.s one negative thing to come out of this is that given how much damn money i’ve spent on phones this year, I may end up in a real divorce. Don’t get rid of me PLEASE HP!
#1 written by Yen June 24th, 2010 at 00:12
As an Android fangirl, this probably won’t mean much, but you know what? I’m pretty disappointed in you. Your entire argument (and maybe your existence) is flawed because you’re basing it on just the Droid Eris phone and its Sense UI, not the Android OS. No keyboard on a screen that size will have a good spacebar. I have other not nice things to yell at you when I see you next. Make sure you’re wearing flame-retardant clothing.
#2 written by Katie Kelley June 24th, 2010 at 00:43
I LOVE my 2nd Iphone (first was two weeks old and stolen in NYC…i suspect by Holly). I use the comma, the period, and all of the things that you don’t. However, I still love it.
Yay, Apple.
#3 written by Apple June 24th, 2010 at 14:05
TJ…we hear your cries for help and we understand your frustration with an inferior product. We appreciate you announcing for the world to see (or at least some people, virtually all of which are in the exact same demographic range) how superior the iPhone is to every other “smart” phone out there. I use the finger quotes as I type this becasue seriously, why would you call a “smart” phone a droid when really a droid is a mass-produced robot that is told what to do and cannot think on it’s own, therefore is only as smart as the person instructing it? I mean…that’s why stormtroopers were not droids…because people were in there. Am I right? But I digress this. This all leads us at Apple to the point of this reply…we would like to request that you do not buy another iPhone…EVER. The reason for this is two-fold. First…because without an iPhone you can continue to announce to the world how terrific the iPhone is relative to all these other wannabes. Second…we just don’t want you back. We would however, encourage you to purchase an iPad. Thank you.
#4 written by B. Muehleman June 24th, 2010 at 17:11
As far as I’m concerned verizon bit off more than it could chew when it aquired Alltel. The service is lousy and the samsing phone I got with the last contract is a piece of crap
#5 written by Jay June 24th, 2010 at 21:44
I’ve got the new iPhone 4. Its simply perfect.
I gave my old iPhone 3 to my 4-year old son who finds it a perfect entertainment device. Loaded with age-appropriate games and lots of cartoons, it is his new best friend. I’m very lonely now that he will no longer speak with me.
#6 written by TJ June 25th, 2010 at 01:17
Yen, I wrote this entry knowing it would enrage you. It was a chance I was willing to take.
Apple, you’re a freak.
#7 written by Verizon June 26th, 2010 at 02:08
TJ, Apple and anyone else who bashes Verizon (B. Muehleman),
eff off.